A Terrible Tale of (#book) Woe…

I won’t say last Tuesday was the most frustrating day of my writing career, but it must be right up there in my top twenty.

Background story: Having decided to put my Lakeside Hotel series out in paperback as well as eBook, I organised the formatting and cover for the first, Saving the Lakeside Hotel, (thank you Yvonne and James), set it up on Amazon KDP print books, and ordered a proof copy. That was on the 6^th of March. For complicated tax reasons, KDP don’t deliver proofs to Switzerland, so the book was going to my brother in the UK to be checked. Then, on the expected delivery date, an email arrived from Amazon: Your package may be 2-3 business days late. Okay…

2-3 days came and went. And another couple, with me drumming my fingers. No proof. I hesitated. It was Friday now, so maybe we should wait up to see if it came on Monday?

Monday came and went. No proof. It was now 9 days late.

Then came Terrible Tuesday. I went into my Amazon account to check the delivery status: We are very sorry, but your order may have been lost. You can now apply for a refund…

Sigh – but none of this was Amazon’s fault; it was the Royal Mail who had mislaid the book. I applied for a refund, then went into my KDP account to order a replacement. This involves placing the order, then waiting for an email from KDP to confirm, then paying as usual via my personal Amazon account. All of which had worked perfectly for the first order.

The expected email arrived: Your proof copy is in your Amazon basket. Please pay in your account.

I went into my account. My basket was empty. Oh. Right. Try again…

The second email from KDP arrived: Your proof copy is in your Amazon basket. Please pay in your account. My basket was still empty.

Which meant… I had to email KDP. This means sending an email, then waiting for day to break in KDP-land and a person to get up, have breakfast and start work.

A couple of hours later, an email from Carolina at KDP support arrived: I can understand this is worrying. Before we get the technical team involved, please try logging out and back into your KDP account and reordering a proof.

Okay. I logged out, then in – wrong password. Eek. Had I changed it since the last time I’d saved it on this pc?? Possibly… Fortunately, Son 1 has access to this account too.

Phone call to Son 1: ‘What the heck’s the KDP password??’

Son 1: ‘XXXXXXXX’

Me: ‘Is that really O in second last place or is it zero??’

Son 1: ‘I’m not sure…’

Me: ‘Ah. Okay.’

The next few minutes went quite well, in comparison to the rest of the day. I logged back into my KDP account first try and ordered another proof. The expected email arrived: Your proof copy is in your Amazon basket. Please pay in your account.

I went into my account. My basket was in its usual state of emptiness.

Email to Carolina: I tried what you suggested, but my basket is still empty. Thank you for further help with this.

By this time, coffee was sounding very attractive. I went into the kitchen. My phone buzzed.

WhatsApp from my brother: The proof has just arrived!!!

Me: Brilliant!!! Bummer!!!!

Quick dive into my Amazon account: Your refund has been sent and will appear in your bank account in 2-3 days.

Head. On. Desk.

Back to Carolina: PLEASE STOP – ORIGINAL ORDER HAS ARRIVED. THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP.

So now I had a proof I hadn’t paid for, every last nerve in my body was frazzled, and it was still three days to wine-time Friday.

Maybe a small sherry?

Fast forward to the end of the tale. By the time my email reached her, Carolina had, of course, already passed me on to the senior support staff. Over the next day or two, I was passed along four different people in two different countries about my not-missing book and the refund, but the end decision was, I can keep both proof and refund, so all’s well, etc. I think. And I’m hopeful that maybe, just maybe, the book will be available in the next day or two.

Meanwhile, I’m off to start the whole procedure again with Return to the Lakeside Hotel. With my fingers very firmly crossed.

Be a writer, they said. It will be fun, they said…