Like all language teachers I have an enormous supply of (clean) jokes on every subject under the sun – here are some of the Christmas ones!
What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
Jungle Bells, Jungle Bells…
A reindeer walked into a pub, strolled up to the bar and ordered a pint of lager. Calmly, the barman poured out the lager and slid it across to the reindeer, who paid with a £10 note.
Handing over the change – just a few coins – the barman said, ‘You know, you’re the first reindeer I’ve ever seen in here.’
The reindeer studied his change very carefully and said, ‘Tell you what, sunshine, at these prices I’m also the last reindeer you’re ever going to see in here.’
A Christmas thought: STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backwards…
Where’s the best place to put your Christmas tree?
After your Christmas one and your Christmas two…
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party?
He had no body to go with!
Shortly before Christmas, a woman told her husband, ‘Last night I dreamed that you gave me a beautiful diamond necklace! What do you think it could mean?’
‘You’ll know when you open your gift,’ he said.
On Christmas morning the husband presented his wife with a flat parcel. Delighted, she opened it – and found a book entitled ‘The Meaning of Dreams.’…
What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month?
The letter ‘D’!!
Merry Christmas everyone!